been spinning around...

hi folks...
how's your story today... must great right?

today, i did nothing, again...
you know it's so damn boring when you have nothing to do... and i feel it too...
i know that patience is a hard word to do.. but i don't know that it is so damn hard in real... this boring time sometimes made me think about everything in my life... and i did hate most of them... some are sounds like hard world, plan to do in the future, people's kindness, or else... yeah you don't need to understand what's in my mind but the point is... i hate being jobless!! God, i do hate it...

i even had a hard conversations with my Dad about one of it, and i hate his thought about his pride...
i think that it's him, not mine... none is mine... and he should know about it...
stop thinking like i'm nothing in this world, and the most important thing is your thought...

what if, i break all the rules to set myself free?
what if, i run away from all of my daily activities and go far far away?
what if, i think that it's okay to have no pride anymore?
what if, i kill all of disguise people in this world?

well ya, i ever thought about it, i do LOL
but, i have my own way to defend myself from them...
and all i need to know is you trusting me Dad...
please... i'm not a girl no more...
you just need to warn me, but all of the decisions are in my arms...

and the next problem will be, when will you understand me?
when will it come to me?

i grown up by years, not in a few days...
and my age is already mature..
it's my life either....
i need to be free to choose what i love...

uhmm... it's a bad blog i know LOL...
coz i said about my sadness here but, i need to share it or i'll blew myself out LOL

well, i'm just a 'lil bit calm now... ^_^
let's hope for a great day for tomorrow... amien...
and... don't forget to do shaum in Rajab folks... see ya....*_^