why mood is changing?

Dear you,

I just came back from my holiday from Bandung, Jakarta and Jogjakarta in 2 weeks *grin*, on of my BFF was getting married in Bandung and Jogjakarta so i attended it twice. The feeling when i was there is..excited, of what will i do in the next day, where will i go for culinary trip or hunt something. But when its all stopped, just in a secon, i feel so empty.
 i suddenly remembered bout a song titled "Lucky" by Britney Spears in her early career that said about emptiness..it might correlated well in other's situations when you feel so lonely in the crowd.

Lets assume it caused by mood swing. I ever read about "mood" that we could actually controll, by our brain, and still until now i can not imagine how to controll my chemical thing flows inside my brain LOL. It's an interesting knowledge to be learned and i think that i need to find any books to understand it.

 The craziest time would be like you suddenly cry after you watched a comed movie, negatively, just because you can't understand why you have to cry. Or yea, i never did that situations but i ever felt so stressed after i laughed of a joke..err..seriously    i
 didn't ever understand why my mood is so easily changed.

My sign of birth is a gemini in astrolog, that figured by two girls that have different characters and habit. I often thought that it might be caused of my mood swing, but..i never ever trully believe on that kind of astrological things. So i just assume it's just my inabilities to controll my happiness.

 wait, why i have to controll my happiness? LOL. I wish i always be happy.


Ah i know what i have to do when i feel so dumb, i just need to close my eyes and smile. :)

 see you  then, i'll close my eyes now.

Big hug and kisses.

Between any decision..

Dear you,

It's almost noon now, not a general time for me to write anything but i already keep the title since last night..
been thinking 'bout what's bothering my mind..well 'though i haven't understood anything but some decisions lately made me a bit wobbled..yeah i might haven't touched the "decision" level, yet, but the processes in each days were wobbling me for real..
 its not a life or die options but i mostly feel like i could be die if i decide it wrong way..

Have you feel like you're so stressed before any examinations and somehow you feel jsomething crash your chest when you know that u can't finish it?

Or the feeling when u presenting your proposal in front of your client but the fact is your client do not approve it?

I feel that "chest popping" jus before i decide anything LOL..
most of people think that taking a decision is choosing between two or three or more options..but if you realize..you actually not "choose" it..but you think about connections between that options and then decide the better condition of your options before..

Fidgetiness, that's describe me best right now..if you ask about "why?" or "how?"..i just can't answer it, yet.
but i feel so blessed that i have my own place to just breath a moment and think about anything on my track..


So, i'll keep it for myself, still..and try to elevate it into any positive ways.. :)

Wish all best luck and happines..cya #kiss #bighug

It's me!! Again..

hello worlddd...

it's me... agaainn...

yeah i'm back..!!

i've been thinking to start to write, again, and suddenly remember about this blog. oh dear, it's been sooo looong when i stopped to write at July 17, 2010. wow it almost 5 years ago!! LOL. 

and if there's any question 'bout why i start it all over again..errr i don't have the answer, yet. i just want to write, thing that i ever enjoyed much and kept most of my emotions well.

it doesn't mean that i need it now, but thought that i have to try it so i can understand it.

oya why i choose "the trouvere" as my blog name? LOL i cant remember it anyway. i already checked the translations at Google but seriously i can't figured what's in my mind at the 1st time i picked it. it does sound AH-MAZING but i'm afraid if i did any mistake LOL.

well, Wikipedia said that Trouvere means “to compose, to discuss, to invent” or “to compose something in verses”.. so, if i flashed my memory back to the 1st time i looked for my blog's name..it might means wishes of any arts and lessons written in it. well, its a great meaning..maybe i'll keep it named that way rather than change it.. :)

so, welcome home for me, and have a great day for all of us.

surely will see you soon in a blink.. :)